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The Pursuit of Family Holiday Happiness

2/7/2018

5 Comments

 
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It’s about this time of year that many of us start planning a break away to sunnier shores. With those thoughts, however, come the questions surrounding where to go, what to see and how to travel with young children.
 
Add to that the most common question asked by many parents….is it even possible to have a happy family holiday with toddlers in tow?
This concern can lead to many families opting for a pretty conservative break – a resort with a kids club – and if that’s genuinely your happy place then all power to you, read no further. However, I’ve always struggled to sit beside a pool for more than a few hours without boredom setting in, so the thought of doing that for a week or more surrounded by hundreds of other families feels like the antithesis of a holiday for me.
If you’re on a similar wavelength and crave a more interactive holiday, then having kids in tow is far from a barrier; it’s quite the opposite. They provide the perfect motive to get out and about and really see a country properly.
Children have an amazing capacity to soak everything up, to see richness even in the poorest of conditions and to bridge both language and socio-economic divides. There is a sense of understanding, of innocence and of acceptance – things that we tend to lose along the way to adulthood – and it is refreshing to see it first hand in our children and be motivated to reach out and find those qualities within ourselves again.

Best of all, travelling with young kids makes you slow down and really take in the whole experience. Jumping out of the car at every scenic viewpoint and snapping a quick selfie just doesn’t cut it when you have children in tow. They want to build that giant sand castle on the beach, pick those wild flowers on the hillside and join in with the football game being played by the local kids in the park. This makes you stop too, adding in a deeper appreciation of your surroundings along with facilitating more genuine interactions with other travellers and local people.
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Sure, there will be some days that are harder than others when your kid is tired (or just plain grumpy!) but in reality you get those days at home too. You will find, however, that if you plan your days well, making sure you have enough down time for your child to just be a kid and kick a ball, have an afternoon nap in a proper bed or play with some toys, then you can minimise the tears and have a happier time travelling as a family.
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​And never underestimate the power of food - ‘hangry’ kids are never nice to be around! As adults, we tend to push ourselves and keep going even when we’re running on empty. However, kids are not as resilient as we are and when we travel, our daily schedule tends to be a lot looser than at home. It is therefore important to make sure that regardless of what your day holds, you plan to sit down and eat regular meals. It’s also a good idea to have plenty of snacks for in between times – you never know when that train is going to be delayed or the traffic stops you from getting to your destination as scheduled.

Overall, you will find that travelling with young children not only changes the local’s perspective about you as tourists in their country, providing opportunities for interaction not found when travelling solo, but will also change the way you see the place you are visiting. It’s not always easy, but can’t the same be said for any part of parenting?  The pay back is an intensely rewarding experience that will grow strong family bonds and provide memories that will last a lifetime.
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Happy holidaying! 
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Want your kids to learn compassion, empathy and trust? Travel with them!

6/11/2017

1 Comment

 
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Call us selfish, but my husband and I weren’t ready to stop travelling just because we had started a family. Maybe part of us wanted to stay young and irresponsible, and sure, the mortgage could have been paid off a whole lot sooner had we not spent so much time over the past 16 years gallivanting around the world, but what we have come to realise lately is that we have given our kids values that are increasingly more difficult to teach in the fast-paced, crazy, “it’s all about me” world of today.
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Our kids, now aged 16 and 13, have been fortunate enough to travel to over 35 countries, predominantly developing nations throughout Asia and the Middle East. With backpacks on and our desire to really engage with the locals, the children have seen a simplicity in lifestyle far removed from their usual home comforts. At times they came face-to-face with poverty, sickness and corruption; but this was almost always offset by unbelievable human resilience, care and kindness.  
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As they grow older we are seeing these encounters contributing to their personalities; how they have literally and figuratively widened their view of the world. In our opinion (though we are almost certainly biased!) these experiences have given them a great foundation for being compassionate, empathetic and basically, nice human beings.
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And we’re not the only ones who feel travelling with kids can be beneficial to their development.
“Engaging with another culture helps kids recognize that their own egocentric way of looking at the world is not the only way of being in the world,” says Adam Galinsky, a professor at Columbia Business School. Galinsky, who has conducted extensive research on the benefits of travel on the brain’s neural pathways, says studies show international travel also increases cognitive flexibility, which is the mind’s ability to jump between different ideas. “This act of perspective-taking is a critical ingredient in compassion and empathy,” he claims.
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In addition to compassion and empathy, cross-cultural experiences have the potential to pull people out of their cultural bubbles, and in doing so, can increase their sense of connection with people from backgrounds different than their own.
“We found that when people had experiences travelling to other countries it increased what’s called generalized trust, or their general faith in humanity,” Galinsky says. “When we engage in other cultures, we start to have experience with different people and recognize that most people treat you in similar ways. That produces an increase in trust.”
​Not that just visiting a country and staring at the locals is going to be like waving a magic wand over your kids and, hey-presto, a golden future for them is guaranteed.

​You have to teach them to engage with the local culture they are travelling in, see not only the good but also the bad about each culture so they can start forming opinions about how they want to be in this world and help keep life in perspective for them when you get back to the ‘normality’ of home.
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​The mortgage may well still be there when you get back from your travels but helping your kids navigate the world might just help set the bearings on their moral compass, making all of you a whole lot richer in life.
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From Diapers to Devices – What do you really need when travelling with children?

26/9/2017

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With one hand holding your toddler and the other clutching the map, how many bags do you really want to be lugging around with you as you explore the world? The answer is, as few as possible!

​Having spent the past 15 years travelling with our two children and experimenting with different packing methods I’ve settled on a strictly minimalist approach. I now focus on only the essentials. And I’ve said goodbye to suitcases (regardless of how fashionable they are or how easily they glide across the floor) – backpacks may not look so glam and don’t do 3 point turns, but they do leave your precious hands free for more important matters.
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​We’ve found that items like nappies, baby food and even changes of clothes are readily available almost everywhere in the world – often at a cheaper price than you’d pay for them at home. Our first ‘big trip’ with a young one in tow was to Sri Lanka with our son, then 20 months old. My husband, loaded up like a pack horse with enough nappies for the entire trip (plus more besides - well, you never know…!) was dismayed to find Huggies in every corner store. Familiar foodstuffs (for those days when only tinned spaghetti will hit the spot) are usually also readily accessible.
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We’ve given up on packing toys too – they can be bought really cheaply at your destination and have high novelty value for your kids. And should they tire of them, they make great gifts to local children and you can then repeat the process. This makes for a cost-effective way of keeping your family entertained whilst also spreading a bit of joy on your travels. 

​There are a few items, however, that you will want to make room for. Making sure your kids have something to entertain themselves on long journeys, and also for the much needed ‘down time’ both you and they will want along the way, is essential. With the proliferation of electronic devices it is now very easy to load books to read and games to play, but for those of you who want your holiday to be a screen-free experience, then a stack of paper and coloured pencils is a must. A pack of cards is also a handy thing to have, as are a few hard copy books for those bed-time reads.
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​If your child is particularly fond of an item, like a cuddly toy or blanket, I strongly suggest it stays at home. We learnt this the hard way when our 3yr old daughter, accidently lost her ‘blanky’ out the window of a Vietnamese train… bed times were fraught for some time afterwards! After that, we started introducing a ‘special travel item’ to our kids a month or so before the trip to provide the necessary comfort without quite the same level of emotional attachment so that, if lost on the journey, it wasn’t the end of the world.
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The bottom line is, as long as you have your passports you really don’t need much else. Pack light, buy local and keep your hands free to hold onto your toddler and share the magic of travel with them.
1 Comment

Top Tips for Travelling with a Baby

25/5/2017

0 Comments

 
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I well remember the months of being pregnant and constantly being told that I couldn’t eat this, drink that, lift those heavy objects or generally do what I wanted to do. And even things I was technically allowed to do were often too difficult due to time or physical body restrictions. So, it was with great relief when the baby was born and I finally felt free to do some of the things I had been hankering for – not least, get out my passport and my backpack and travel overseas again.

As a rather naïve first time mother (I had even forgotten to pack clothes for my new born son so we could leave the hospital after the birth…) I was perhaps not the most well equipped person to be taking precious cargo into the unknown. But, as it turned out, the lack of worry and planning worked in my favour as it meant I got to travel to areas that, if I had thought about too much, I probably would have been too nervous to go.
Now, fifteen years on, I have got the preparation and planning thing down to a fine art – it’s just that now, rather than having to think about bottles for the baby, I have to discuss with my teenagers why their devices are staying at home.
Here are a few things I have learned over the years…
 
Preparation and packing tips:
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​You'll probably want to stick pretty close to home for the first few months after your baby's born. Between feedings and diaper changes, a new baby requires almost nonstop attention.
In addition, the risk of a newborn catching something while traveling is quite high as their immune system is not well developed.
Once they hit that 3 month mark though, as long as they are healthy overall, there is nothing stopping you whisking them away to those exotic destinations on your bucket list.
Firstly, make sure your baby has had the relevant vaccinations needed for the destination and, of course, good travel insurance is a must!
I found that carrying your baby in a front or back pack was the easiest way to transport them. Strollers are cumbersome and often difficult to pack down quickly when you want to pop on to buses and in to tuk tuks etc. and having them close to you is also easier when negotiating busy pavements and market places.
The main rule to packing is not to take half the stuff you think you might need as you almost certainly won’t!
Babies really don’t need much apart from food, a clean nappy and sleep. If you are breast feeding then the food part is sorted. If you are bottle feeding then baby formula can be found easily all over the world and usually using NZ milk powder! Nappies are also easily found as are baby wipes, powder and Vaseline. And one thing you can be guaranteed, babies will sleep anywhere when they are really tired so nothing special is needed to help with this aspect of things.
Passport ins and outs:
​Every child under the age of 16 must have their own passport if they are travelling from NZ. Even new born babies are subject to this requirement and although the form isn’t difficult to fill out, you will want to allow enough time to get the passport photo done.
There are clear guidelines stating that the baby’s eyes must be open and they must be facing the camera with nothing obstructing their face – not so easy to do when newborns spend so much time either sleeping, crying or putting their fists in their mouths! You may well need to make several trips until you get a successful shot, so plan ahead.
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Ideal destinations:
​1. Sri Lanka
Sri Lanka remains one of our favourite destinations to travel as a family. The country features landscapes, nature, beaches, history and culture all within a relatively small area, eliminating the necessity for any long journeys which makes it suitable for even the youngest of families.
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2. Cambodia
Cambodia is renowned for its ancient history, as on display at the amazing Angkor Wat, and notorious for its more recent past under the regime of Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge. It is also gaining recognition for its superb beaches on the south coast. Once again, it is a relatively small country with an excellent public transport system so internal travel is quick, cheap and simple.
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3. Borneo
Malaysian Borneo - home to amazing wildlife, stunning scenery, indigenous tribes and tranquil islands surrounded by clear seas teeming with life - this is a slice of paradise on earth that really has it all! Although much bigger than either Sri Lanka or Cambodia, internal flights are inexpensive and easy, making it a great destination for those people who want to get a little bit more off the beaten track.
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​​I have found that travelling with children not only changes people’s perspective about us as travellers, but also changes the way we see the place we are visiting. Babies, especially, bridge both language and socio-economic divides and bring a sense of understanding, innocence and acceptance.
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So shake off those fears, look forward to having your freedom back and start planning for that overseas adventure when your baby arrives.
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For the kids who have everything!

10/11/2016

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​Christmas is fast approaching, and with it, the stress of coming up with a great, original idea of what to give your offspring for their Christmas present is rising. A lot of kids nowadays are lucky enough to already have a bike, a wardrobe full of clothes and multiple electronic devices strewn around the bedroom floor – so what are we meant to give them now?


The best present that I can think of isn’t a tangible, physical one, but the awesome experience of travelling to a new country. And there is no way your child should get to go on their own, so you as their parent will just have to tag along too and make it a whole family affair!

That’s what we have decided to do this Christmas - the whole family is off to Myanmar in early December, forgoing the traditional presents under the tree and stuffed turkey for lunch, for 4 weeks of backpacking around this recently opened country. Christmas Day will be spent hot air ballooning over the ancient temples of Bagan and the New Year will be welcomed in on the shores of Inle Lake.
​If Myanmar is a bit too off the beaten track for your liking, there are plenty of softer options to travel to where both children and adults alike will have an enlightening, fun and rewarding experience.

My top 3 picks for easy family travel are as follows:
Vietnam - The energy of Vietnam is invigorating and infectious. Whether navigating the hustling Ho Chi Minh City by moped or the spectacular Halong Bay by boat, cruising the backwaters of the Mekong Delta or strolling the backalleys of Hoi An, you will find the people, scenery, sights and tastes of Vietnam an experience to treasure.​

​Sri Lanka
 - Sri Lanka remains one of our favourite destinations to travel as a family. The country features landscapes, nature, beaches, history and culture all within a relatively small area, eliminating the necessity for any long journeys which makes it suitable for even the youngest of families.
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Borneo - home to amazing wildlife, stunning scenery, indigenous tribes and tranquil islands surrounded by clear seas teeming with life - this is a slice of paradise on earth that really has it all! The extensive regional airline network enables you to easily explore the likes of Kota Kinabalu, Sepilok Orangutan Sanctuary, the renowned snorkelling and diving of Sipadan, the bat swarms of Miri and the headhunter villages in the remote rainforests of Sarawak.

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So, dare to be different this Christmas and give your kids the gift of travel - a present that will keep on giving amazing memories for a lifetime and not just end up discarded on the bedroom floor.  Best of all, you won’t have to endure the nightmare that is Christmas shopping, bumping shoulders with other weary parents, trudging from shop to shop trying to find inspiration for that prefect gift. 
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As they say in Lapland, home to Rudolph and his reindeer friends, “Hyvää matkustaminen” – Happy travelling!
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Should you travel with your toddler? Absolutely!

14/9/2016

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When we announced that we were planning a 3 week backpacking trip around Sri Lanka with our 20 month old son we got alot of raised eyebrows from concerned friends. Surely we should temper our intrepid travelling style now that we were parents and head to a nice resort in Fiji or some such place, not go off exploring in a country that had not long come out of civil war?

Unfortunately, relaxing by a pool – nice as it is to do for a few days – was neither mine nor my husband’s style, so the eyebrows stayed raised and off we went to the Indian sub-Continent with our son. 

What followed was an amazing holiday, full of opportunities and interactions that would not have happened had we not been travelling with a toddler. His blonde hair and infectious smile started many conversations with locals and rather than being hassled to buy things, we were invited into people’s homes to meet their families.

Sure, there were some days that were harder than others when he was tired or just plain grumpy, but, like everyone, we got those days at home too. We quickly learned to plan the days, making sure he had down time to just be a kid and kick a ball, have an afternoon nap in a proper bed or play with the few toys we had taken with us. Like most kids, as long as he was fed, had enough sleep and was with us, he was pretty happy. 
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​When our second child was born a year or so later we decided to head off again. With our daughter only 8 months and our son 3 years old, our friends’ eyebrows went up even higher than last time. Now we had one in a backpack and an energetic toddler racing around…were we crazy?

But, once again, having the kids with us put a totally different perspective on our travels. This time, we did actually head off to Fiji but not to a resort – we backpacked around the outer islands staying in guesthouses and sleeping in open burees on the beach. With the Fijian people being so family orientated, we slotted into village life easily and were never short of a ready babysitter to look after the kids when we wanted one. In fact, we often found that the kids were whisked away from us for a cuddle and a play whether we asked them to be or not!
We have found that travelling with young children not only changes people’s perspective about us as travellers, but also changes the way we see the place we are visiting. There is a sense of understanding, of innocence and of acceptance. Toddlers have an amazing capacity to soak everything up, to see richness even in the poorest of conditions and to bridge both language and socio-economic divides. As parents, we are just privileged to be along for the ride!
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    Author

    My name is Fiona Rouse. As Director of Adventure Together I am excited to be able to share my stories and knowledge with you, hopefully giving you and your family the inspiration to get off the beaten track.

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